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I spoke with my ex today and he told me he does not want to give me back my beloved cat which I left with him years ago. He gave a number of good reasons for that, mostly relating to her own welfare. The following were some random thoughts on the matter and finally, the best reason I can think of never to see her again. 

I guess I’ve undergone a personal counter-renaissance in the last years. I can’t say I really care much about others or what’s best for them….but I think the exception might be Muna(the cat) because I love her. So maybe I can think on that whole idea more..,I think I actually do care what is best for her. 

My god I just love her so much, and it will always make me so regretful and sad to remember that I went thru so much with her and then just left her one day and never saw her again in my life…

That cat was more precious to me than anything I ever had in my life. I never felt love for anyone or anything since leaving her. 

Of course living in North America it is better for her. But love is selfish. I want her because I love her. Yeah, I have no good or moral reason for my request. I just love her and want her for the sake of my love for her. 

If I think in terms of my own personal philosophy which I’ve constructed these last years , the best reason not to take her, is that it will be much much less sad when she dies if I am not close to her at that time. 

When I think of the years ahead very realistically, I’m not convinced I will be married or have offspring at the time of her death. Probably she would be my only ‘family’, and don’t think I would be able to handle losing her and being alone in the world afterward.

Yes it’s true, loving noone is best…..