Everyone is alone. Just because we delude ourselves with temporary companionship doesn’t make us any less alone.
Try not to worry so much. Soon enough we will all be dead.
A single tear was shed. Just a single tear. And then I smiled at a kitten. I’ll take to the skies soon I return to thinking, to the blue skies. You see the sky is calling me, the blue depths. But for now I will enjoy the heat of the afternoon sun. I’ve pondered before, what causes tears? But the thought is forgotten by a laugh or two, and consigned to the depths of my mind. Always it’s forgotten by a laugh or two, or the pleasure of the wind on my face. What a meaningless question it is to enquire about ones ‘happiness’. The only question worth asking is how one feels at that moment.
Me: At some point you may wake up one morning and realize that you don’t have much time left. And you’ll stop caring. You’ll just stop caring.
Other person: About what? That’s exactly the thing- if I value every living being life, if I put myself in every set of shoes, than I don’t have just one life
Me: You’ll realize it’s just not so.
And you have only yourself.
And nothing matters.
Nothing matters at all.
Stupid depressing person making me step out of the elaborate framework of distractions I’ve constructed, called being busy.
I wish I could forget, I wish I could forget. But you can’t unknow once you know.
See you have this chronic problem, which is the tragedy of existence, and you can ignore it and pretend like it going to go away, but it’s not. It’s only going to get worse. And there’s absolutely nothing you could conceivably do to solve this problem
Oh how I wish I was just a dumb cat or goldfish, enjoying life in a field or a nice pond somewhere.
I search for something permanent in this transient, swiftly fleeting world, but each thing my mind manages to muster to is slowly transpiring before my eyes. All that remains is me. But even I am not permanent. Soon enough my brain’s circuitry will fizzle out, and so too ‘me’, this phenomenally unlikely coincidence of billions and billions of years of cosmic evolution will be annihilated, to be preceded by billions and billions of years of nothingness.
I spoke with my ex today and he told me he does not want to give me back my beloved cat which I left with him years ago. He gave a number of good reasons for that, mostly relating to her own welfare. The following were some random thoughts on the matter and finally, the best reason I can think of never to see her again.
I guess I’ve undergone a personal counter-renaissance in the last years. I can’t say I really care much about others or what’s best for them….but I think the exception might be Muna(the cat) because I love her. So maybe I can think on that whole idea more..,I think I actually do care what is best for her.
My god I just love her so much, and it will always make me so regretful and sad to remember that I went thru so much with her and then just left her one day and never saw her again in my life…
That cat was more precious to me than anything I ever had in my life. I never felt love for anyone or anything since leaving her.
Of course living in North America it is better for her. But love is selfish. I want her because I love her. Yeah, I have no good or moral reason for my request. I just love her and want her for the sake of my love for her.
If I think in terms of my own personal philosophy which I’ve constructed these last years , the best reason not to take her, is that it will be much much less sad when she dies if I am not close to her at that time.
When I think of the years ahead very realistically, I’m not convinced I will be married or have offspring at the time of her death. Probably she would be my only ‘family’, and don’t think I would be able to handle losing her and being alone in the world afterward.
Yes it’s true, loving noone is best…..
Welcome to Dimension 3,
Where everyone is a slave to time.
Everyone is walking along a pathway of finite length, with not but a single entry and one exit.
Jagged fragments of dreams litter my foggy pathway
And from time to time the skin of my feet are pierced,
Causing the little girl in me to sit down to cry for a spell,
With her arms wrapped around my knees
The pain of marching across the path of time is often unbearable, but sleep offers a precious recess. Sometimes, enraptured in the land of sleep, I imagine the world to be a friendlier place.
But then I wake up to the same misty pathway, and continue on.
At times when I’ve fallen to my knees upon my way.
In my secret yearnings
I long for the warmth of a tender embrace, a hand to pull me upward,
And perhaps hold mine as I continue down the gloomy shattered path toward deletion.
But then I remember,
I always remember,
That I entered this world alone
And alone I shall exit it.